He Won’t Give Up

It was one week ago that I was sitting in the Santa Cruz mountains, soaking up the love of God. Now, here I am in my favorite coffee shop, drinking chai, songs from the retreat on repeat. I still feel like I’m on that “high” you get after being on retreat and I wonder how long it will last.

Funny story: I was getting Subway on campus the other day and asked Allen how long this “high” would last. I was definitely not thinking about what I had just said and the lady in front of us gave us a strange look. I don’t think it helped when I said that the herbs sounded really good [to put on my sandwich]. Haha! 😀

I wonder when I will be able to make it back to Santa Clara/ Santa Cruz area. I wonder when I’ll be able to see all of the amazing Caritas 41 folks again. I like to wonder. It used to cause me a lot of anxiety, but now it’s exciting.

Today also marks the five year anniversary of my Confirmation.

My parents stopped going to church when I was eight years old, so I decided to go back to church when I moved to Boise to attend Boise State in 2009. In high school, my friends happened to be Catholic, and we attended BSU together. So, if I’m honest, at first it was more of a “my friends go, so I’ll go” type of situation. I was even asked if I wanted to join the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults during my freshman year, but I wouldn’t because classes were at the same time at Grey’s Anatomy. Priorities! 😀 It wasn’t until my sophomore year of college that I decided to join RCIA and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

It’s amazing how one little (or not so little) decision can change your entire life.

I’ve met the most amazing people, not just at St. Paul’s and FirePit, but also at other conferences and retreats I’ve been on throughout the country. These events I would never have attended if it wasn’t for making the decision to be fully received in the Catholic Church, most recently at Caritas 41.

Now, I have other decisions to make as I leave St. Paul’s.

This part of Jason Mraz’s song “I Won’t Give Up” has been stuck in my head for the past week:

 “When you’re needing your space to do some navigating,
I’ll be here patiently waiting to see what you find.”

I’ve also had an image of Jesus, giving me a hug and letting me go. Kind of like when parents are dropping their kids off at college. It’s like He is telling me that whatever comes next in my life, it will be okay. He’s going to give me my space, but will be right beside me the entire way, no matter where I end up. He won’t give up on me, on you, on any of us.

I ask for your prayers, as you are in mine.

You are loved. 🙂

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