On August 26, 2014, I stepped foot into my counselor’s office for the first time. This wasn’t my first go around, but one size does not fit all when it comes to counseling. I tried again and I’m so thankful I did.
Besides God, she’s been the one constant in my life over the last four years. Through stressful jobs. New jobs. Multiple apartments. Relationships destroying me. Stressful bosses. All the chaos of the last four years on top of just wanting to deal with trauma from my childhood. She’s been there.
After a rough patch this July, as I came back into the light, I decided it was time to start back at the beginning.
I don’t mean letting her go and finding a new counselor.
She’s never allowed to leave me. Lol.
You see, I’m really good at avoiding topics, pushing feelings down, and ignoring situations I need to face.
I’m not saying that the past four years haven’t been helpful.
Far from that.
The healing I’ve experienced has been life changing.
It’s just that it can be easy for me to get caught up in feeling really great, when deep [sometimes really deep] down I’m not okay.
I realized that even though I have shared so much with her already, I know there is more work to be done.
So today, I sat down and told her that I need to talk.
I need to let it out.
I don’t know how to start or where to begin or what it is.
But I’m ready to speak.
And so we began.
And I’m so grateful we did.
Today was just the beginning of a new chapter in this crazy thing we call life.
So, friends, I’m here to tell you to never give up. You may be going through hell, but keep going. I remember at the beginning of my time with her, I just wanted to be healed already. Someone then asked me, “How long have you been hurt?” Oh. You mean this isn’t gonna happen overnight? 😆
Sometimes you just need to start at the very beginning.
[And when you do, you might have Julie Andrews singing in your head. ☺️]
You are loved. ❤️